untitled poem before bed

“Math is the language of the world,” you said after
I giggled to myself in wonder that I
the wordsmith
have a mathematician for a husband.

Thinking then of the wonder of
nonverbal communication
and always quick to doubt the significance of
numbers, quantities, lines, theorems,
I countered, “What about music? The swell of a symphony, the
quarter half whole notes
read by eager fingers and throats …”

But I had misunderstood
There I was thinking that math could bring
a world full of unhappy people
together in a sort of ecstatic harmony
but you had simply meant

That those doubted numbers, quantities, lines, theorems
control the wind, the arc of an arrow, the
flight of a bumblebee

that math rules the world.

the joy of doing nothing

Usually I am not the type of person to sleep in, lounge around in my pajamas, swear off showering, and lie on the sofa until noon drinking coffee ... but this weekend I was. And it was fabulous! Perhaps it is due to my recently lowered stress levels, perhaps it is the weather ... regardless, the last couple of days I experienced the pure and simple joy of ... doing nothing. In an increasingly frenzied world, where the worth of one's life is judged by the hours she spends working, producing, accumulating, I am trying to learn to be content with doing nothing. Well ... maybe not completely nothing ... I did do yoga, finish Lolita, see The Wrestler (fantastic, by the way), and go walking in the rain. The result of this slow weekend? Clear white eyes, wrinkle-less brow, and a glance toward Monday with calm resignation (as opposed to the usual tense regret that comes with adulthood).

cycling is so fun, la di da

I love being on a bike!

Even when it jumps out and viciously attacks me ...

Yesterday Mark and I went on an epic 30-mile ride through West Marin with our dear friends Nick and Carrie. Nick and Carrie are decidedly hardcore cyclists, while Mark and I ebb and flow from casual to semi-hardcore, depending on the season and where we are living. We started out in the quaint town of Tomales, and rode out amid the small farms, passing fuzzy baby cows along the way. It was so beautiful and relaxing, with rolling hills just steep enough to get your heart pumping and legs burning but not so steep as to make you swear off cycling forever. And we only got harassed by an angry motorist once!

The definite highlight was when I tried to unclip from my pedals, lost my balance, and fell while riding uphill. DOH! And though the knee and arm I landed on escaped from the incident relatively unscathed, my other leg, which was unclipped already and was flailing to reach the ground, was caught by my razor-sharp pedal and sliced up the calf. Blood everywhere, but I had to finish the last few miles ... I guess yesterday I fell into the semi-hardcore category!

Michael Pollan is NOT an elitist

Contrary to my previous take on his persona. After breezing through The Botany of Desire, I have decided instead that this man is most definitely a genius, not simply for his beautiful prose but for his earth-shattering insights into our co-evolution with plants ... most specifically marijuana. HOLY COW. The book is divided neatly into four sections, each following a plant that human culture uses to gratify a specific desire. There's the apple, which we have cultivated and bred to satisfy our desire for sweetness; the tulip, which we have bred to satisfy our love (and sometimes mania) for beauty; the potato, which we have (disturbingly) chemicalized to satisfy our need for control. But the most astonishing chapter for me was that on marijuana and our desire for intoxication. Even if you have never indulged in marijuana's ability to elevate the self out of the drone of the everyday, even if you think that all the potheads should be shot, even if you think that marijuana is as bad as heroin, you should take an hour out of your misinformed life to read this chapter. No, it does not try to convert you, but merely offers an explanation for why millions of people choose to indulge in this particular drug. Most explanations for marijuana's attractiveness are weak. Pollan takes it so much further, by positing (in much more eloquent prose) that the primary reason people smoke pot is to quiet the noise of life and to truly live in the moment, as we did when we were young children. And, every once in a while, this is definitely a worthwhile activity, whether you experience it through yoga, meditation, or marijuana.

looking forward and back

At first glance, it seems kinda silly that people get so worked up over the change in the year. But I love it -- mainly for the symbolism. And having a new year's resolution (or 10) sort of infuses January with purpose, which is good for me because January generally makes me want to curl up in a blanket and sleep til March.

All in all, 2008 was a challenging year of growth for me. Here are my highlights (thanks for the idea, valerie!):

10. Walking to work over the Marin Headlands
9. Visiting Amanda in Phoenix
8. Buying a sweet road bike and challenging myself to a 20-mile commute
7. Making new friends at work
6. Seeing a whale and its baby playing in an inlet at Rodeo Beach!
5. Embracing the idea of Mark having a motorcycle :)
4. Moving to Fairfax, into an actual HOUSE
3. Backpacking to Young Lakes with my amazing husband
2. Deciding that other than writing, I find the most joy in teaching
1. Hiking to the top of Half Dome

And, in 2009, I hope to:

10. Do more yoga
9. Bike-commute to work
8. Become a seamstress
7. Climb more
6. Hike Mt. Whitney (maybe?)
5. Help my sister move back to the Bay Area!!!
4. Go on a real vacation!
3. Write more
2. Worry less
1. Hike often

Here's to another trip around the sun :)