I'm back ... for now

This here's a pic of Mark and me that we're using for our wedding invites (October 6!) It's been nearly a year since I last posted, and I guess that it's because I've been busy? I spent the summer as an intern (re:slave) at Yoga Journal in the financial district, and have also been working part-time at a nonprofit in the Mission called Children's Council of San Francisco, where I do communications (newsletters, posters, etc.). And now, on the peak of graduation from my Master's program in Mass Communications at San Jose State University, I'm facing a career crisis ... where do I go from here?
I know that to some people my dilemma must sound silly. Here I am, living in one of the most fascinating places in the world, about to be married, about to receive a Master's degree, earning far above the minimum wage, and yet ... I feel so frustrated. I told myself when I entered SJSU that I wanted to be a writer. But I'm beginning to feel like the ways to make money at writing are pretty boring, and far away from the type of writing I enjoy. The constrictions and menial pay of newspaper journalism scares me, and the magazine world is run by vacant egotists. While there undoubtedly are intellectually stimulating magazines out there, they are few and far between, and every journalism grad with half a brain is just dying to work for them for free. So where does that leave me?
I'm beginning to think that I belong right where I am - in the nonprofit world. I enjoy being able to control (teehee, control freak :) many stages of the product, which is required at nonprofits, since they can't afford to hire many people. And although it's PR, at least it's not for profit, and I highly doubt that I'd ever have to lie to the press about embezzelment or wrongdoing (unless, of course, I worked at the Smithsonian ...).
And, in all that time I have outside of work, (haha), I can still write what I want. Even if no one wants to read it.

a change of scenery

So, I've basically been MIA for about a month now because Mark and I were in the mind-numbing process of moving all of our possessions to San Francisco, where we now rent a "cozy" one-bedroom apartment for the gut-wrenching price of $1200/month. Mark is, as I write, scraping mold and grime off of the large windows next to our bed facing 47th avenue. Ah, mold, an allergic girl's best friend. Well, I don't know what else I expect when I insist on living at the beach! Behind Mark, the buildings are stricken by an urban sort of alpine glow due to the unusually warm and *clear* weather we had today. It's strange the comparisons that can be made between the urban and rural landscapes ... and often there are unexpected similarities.

mother's day?

This evening I stepped out into the crisp Novato air to clear my mind, and prayed for a better year next year. Hiking up Miwok Hill in the end-of-day glow, I recognized that I have so much to be thankful for, and yet I can't help but think that this year the karmic moderators have really had it out for my family.
This Mother's Day, my mom will be lying in bed trying very hard not to vomit. Her art studio at Hamilton Field will be closed, and the Open Studios visitors will assume that she is out having joyous times with her children, when in reality she will be shrouded in blankets in a dark room. There will be no Sandy dog to kiss her cheeks, and the chocolate cake with fresh flowers that I bought her will remain in its box in the back of the refrigerator. Dad, Mark and I will tiptoe around the house, hoping that she falls asleep and dreams of better times.

Ruining my life

Well, not really. But these two lovebirds are making it insanely difficult to find an apartment in the city... and why? Why are people so prejudiced against two fuzzy little snugglers (who happen to be disturbingly adept at destroying household items with their razor-sharp jaws)? I just don't understand it. So basically, the landlords in San Francisco, the city of smugness (and tolerance?), are encouraging me to lie about my furry little friends. I feel so dirty, throwing Ghandi's principle of satyagraha (firmness in truth) right out the window... I haven't even moved yet, and already the city is denigrating my value system.